Here is to this year! 2020! The year I stopped creating social media posts with what I thought people wanted to see. The year I stopped doing things that didn’t bring me absolute joy. The year that I stopped trying to create friendships with people whose end goal was self serving. The year that I stopped telling myself every reason why I couldn’t do something. The year I stopped waiting for things in my mind to get better.
Here is to 2020! A new decade!
This is the year that I will be in photos. Yup, the good. The bad. The journey. The progress! I will accept that I am not a size 2 and I don’t have to be to be successful or an inspiration! This is the year I will show my full length body. Have someone snap full body photos of me in public and choose to love myself where I am in my journey. This is the year that I take my business, my passions, my abilities to new levels.
This is the year, I will stop letting my weight and my body image control my life. I will stop making excuses and giving myself reasons to NOT recreate my blog, or do things differently or say no to things I don’t enjoy.
Just like 2019, I started 2020 with a surgery issue. I have been trying to heal breast explant surgery wounds, attached to a wound vac, and seeing a doctor every day. But unlike last year, I will not let this adversity hold me still. I will make it catapult me to a place where I can see what I am made of, where I show myself how strong I am. My boobs aren’t pretty. They are a mess to be honest. (Follow my explant journey on Instagram) My body isn’t perfect. I am still 34lbs overweight(what a struggle it has been for 4 years) but for the first time in 20 years, I feel like more me than ever.
2020 will be the year that regardless of what I have told myself about my body, regardless of what I see on Instagram. Regardless of what I thought people would think when I posted an overweight unhappy Jilleysue on social media…..I will show up and do the things I have wanted to do for years.
This is the year, I will look back and say, “my life began.” It will be the moment I will stop striving for things to be perfect to do great things, to inspire other women, to make a difference and love myself unconditionally.
To a new year, a new decade, a new beginning……a new Jilleysue.