How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Want a sure fire recipe to feel like crap every single day? How about you take the strengths of all of those you are watching online and compare them to your weaknesses? See, when I type that and you read it, you are thinking, “well why would I do that?” But you do it every single day.

Time and time again, when I coach my team or my clients, it isn’t the business methods that they struggle with. It is the fact they don’t feel like they size up to anyone they watch online.  They constantly tell me they feel that they have nothing to offer, that they don’t know what they are doing, that she is smarter, prettier, more outgoing.

Let’s say I look at someone online who creates amazing You Tube videos. Perfectly edited with amazing marketing graphics. Then I take a look at my bleak You Tube channel. Let’s just be honest. It’s OK but no where near the quality as half the people I watch daily. In this minute right here, I could say, “Wow, my channel looks pretty awful. I’m horrible. I know nothing and I’m pretty much a loser.

But, wait a minute. That just IS NOT a fair comparison. Just because one of my platforms isn’t where I would like it ideally, doesn’t mean I know nothing about Social Media, that I shouldn’t continue to train and motivate ladies who have a dream of owning their own business and working it online. It doesn’t mean I should get depressed or jealous or resentful or worse, give up.  Instead, why not take a look at my strengths?  How about my night Live Streams, my Facebook community, my coaching group, my blogs, my Instagram accounts, my graphic ability. When I look at all those things, its pretty clear that I have a lot to offer people and quite a bit to be happy about.

It’s so important that you focus on your strengths and be able to see your value. You need to be able to constantly look at everything you have learned and what you can offer others. Its actually the key to success, because without this ability, you will never be able to believe in yourself.

It’s natural to compare yourself to others, but too often rather than being inspired, we often end up unhappy and stuck.

Self awareness is the key. Dialing in when you are scrolling Facebook and ask yourself, “Am I looking for inspiration or comparing again?” If you are comparing… a quick STOP THAT is usually all it will take too remind yourself that to DO have things to offer other people, that you have learned tons of information that you can share.  Every single day, you are learning something new, a life lesson, a business tip. Those are things that will continue to make your journey valuable. You just have to recognize that and be willing to share it.  Making this a regular practice will allow you to focus on things you are good at or focus on the things you want to get better at and you will live a happier life.

Time to Break the Habit of Comparing Yourself with Others

So what can you do to stop constantly comparing yourself? Here are some tips that have worked for me in the past.

  • Being Self Aware: Most of the time we are scrolling social media and have no idea we are comparing.  Its natural but the key is to making this become conscious. Bring every act too the forefront and be on the lookout. Once you realize you are doing it, you can stop the habit in its tracks.
  • Just Stop: Once you realize you are doing this. Put your phone down. Take a pause. Don’t make yourself feel badly, just acknowledge that your current actions aren’t going to make you feel good and change your focus to you.
  • Gratitude: Focus on what you have going for you, what you are blessed with. Count what you have and not what you don’t. Appreciate and think about the people and things in your life and really that you are lucky to be on this earth.
  • Strengths: Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, ask yourself what your strengths are. Start celebrating. Feel good about them!
  • Accept Imperfections: Girl, no one is perfect. It may seem like she has it all together but you have got to remember that everyone has things going on behind closed doors. Remember this, imperfections is what will make you relate-able and most of the time more attractive to your idea customer or team member.
  • Focus on your journey: You cant focus on what you want to accomplish when you are focused on someone else. Life is not a competition especially when you are in business for yourself. We are all on journey and that journey has nothing to do with where she is and everything to do with where you are headed.
  • Stop Criticizing: You aren’t going to move forward by putting her down. It just hurts you in the end. Stand up and clap for her and this in itself will lead you to more success.
  • Be OK Where You Are: If you always want what others have, its hard to just take a breath and be OK, you will always want more. Its an endless cycle and it will always lead to you being sad. No matter how much you buy, now many trips you take or how many times you move, you will never be satisfied. Instead learn to accept that what you have is already enough. You are loved, you have food, you have clothes and you have shelter. Anything you acquire or achieve above that…..well that means you are rockin sister. Be good with that and you will be able to take a deep breath.

Hug yourself today! You are amazing! You are learning! You are growing and you have so much to offer! Believe that and success is headed your way.

xoxo, Jilleysue