I have talked a lot about being an impostor lately! Ya know, pretending you have it all together and really, you often wonder what the heck you should be doing every other minute.
It sucks. It’s exhausting to pretend to be someone we aren’t because we just don’t feel good enough.
We sign up for masterminds, ebooks, coaching programs. We listen to our team calls, motivational speakers and the entire time we are listening, we have this soft voice whispering in our ear, “You aren’t good enough.”
On a daily basis, I have thought if I had a certain office, if I was a certain size, if I had a pair of those sunglasses, if I had all that equipment, if I dressed like her, if I was friends with them, then my business would be more successful, my life would be better.
Well, GIRLFRIENDS, I was completely wrong!
Recently, I just stepped back and it was as though I was on top of the world floating over my life. I have recently lost someone who was beyond close to me and I was moved by the affect she had on her family, her friends and her community. She never played to anyone else’s standard. She never tried to fit in. She just treated people with kindness and love. If you were her family, you were her best friend and if you were her friends, you were her family.
I truly decided to take a page from her book, her legacy she left behind.
The truth is, I’m far from perfect! I’ve gained weight, my clothes don’t fit, I feel depressed a lot of days, I scroll Facebook too much, I compare, I’m disorganized, I forget to do things, I struggle with past guilt, I have anxiety about the future and I certainly don’t have perfect relationships. I make mistakes. I hate my hair, my ass is big, I have a potty mouth, and I will never be a size 2. Can you relate?
Fact is, I am not everyone’s glass of wine. (Seems more fitting since I had to give up coffee) and they are not mine.
Ladies no matter how hard you try, you will never be theirs. In this world, people decide whether they like you and want to accept you in less than a minute. We all do it. It is rare that you meet people that will take the time to get to know you or have a conversation with you. The funny thing is, that when you do, the thing you think you will hate the most about some one is exactly what you have in common with them.
You don’t have to be PERFECT! You don’t have to be skinny, have the perfect house, perfect office, run with the “in” crowd. (What the heck is that anyway?) You have strengths that I would die to have. We all do!
As we get older, we see that there is one characteristic that we all need to strive to be and that is kind. I don’t know about you but I want people to say, I was kind and funny and strong and inspiring.
I recapped the last two weeks as I walked around my cousin’s funeral services and I was like WOW! She made a difference. She made people laugh. She accepted people. She treated people with kindness, always. I couldn’t tell you if she strived to be a size 4. Tells you something, doesn’ t it? No one really gives a shit!
My advise to you today is to just stop! Take a minute and regroup. Girl re-prioritize. Get rid of all the noise, the extra groups, the clutter, the people in your life who give you anxiety. Bring the important stuff in close. Figure out what you are good at and focus on that! Stop looking for that perfect blueprint and focus on consistency and determination.
You don’t need to hide in the back of the picture any more. You don’t need to stand in the shadows. Confidence and Kindness are the KEY to the most magnificent legacy you could ever lead.
So if you are focused on the wrong things, maybe not as kind as you should be……..you are probably reading this for a reason. And if you are hiding …. stand on top of the world and be AMAZING! Be who you are and strive to have people say….she was INCREDIBLE. (I’d rather that than a size 4 with a nice car right?)
and if someone won’t accept you, won’t hug you, won’t love you…… SCREW EM! Move on and LIVE YOUR LIFE!
Stop trying to be PERFECT!
Love, Jilleysue XOXO
